Sara Plays House

Avery doesn’t get sick.  Not often anyway, and it’s usually just a minor cold.  So when she started running a fever of 102.5 yesterday, we knew something was up.  When that fever kept coming back despite medication, we REALLY knew something was up.  And then her little fingers turned purple for awhile.  So I called the nurse line at Children’s to see if she needed to be seen last night.  Everything was going fine until the nurse had me get her to move her head.

“Ouch Mommy that hurts!  I don’t want to do it!”

As soon as the nurse heard that, she informed me that she couldn’t take the chance and we needed to head to the ER.  So I gathered Avery up and we headed to the Children’s ER at a local hospital.  Please note this was NOT the ER at the Children’s Hospital.  I’m pretty sure it was the smallest ER waiting room I’ve ever seen.  In the two hours that we spent waiting to be seen, I learned a few things I’d like to share with you.

If your four year old is sick, there is absolutely no reason to bring both parents AND your young infant.  Especially if you’re wearing stilettos.  And an ill-fitting dress.  No one needs to see your panty line, and I SURELY do not need to see you taking those stilettos off, even if your feet are sore.  No shoes, no service!  Remember that?

If your child has Mucous Of Many Colors dripping from his nose and a hacking cough, it is definitely NOT OKAY to let said child wander around touching other children and getting all up in their faces while you bide your time staring off into space.

If one of your children is sick, there is absolutely no reason to bring your cousin along with her three (presumably well) children.  Especially if the well children just run around stealing swine flu masks and running out the door.

If your child is not wheeled in on a gurney, you definitely have time to change out of your dirty, nasty pajamas into suitable clothing BEFORE you leave for the ER.  Seriously?  That would tack on two minutes.  This is especially important if you’re just going to spend your time in the waiting room complaining about how you’re SO underdressed.

If you bring your two bratty teenage daughters, please advise them that YES.  Children will be crying in the waiting room.  And NO, it’s not OK to complain loudly about all “these sick rugrats” hurting your poor wittle heads.  Dear Lord, if my girls ever act so bratty, please strike me down for being an incompetant parent.  I assure you, I’ll understand.

Waiting in the hallway to avoid the nasty germs in the waiting room is not really protecting you or your kids from anything.  Where do you think the sick children are wheeled to and fro?  The entire hospital is crawling with germs!  It only makes you look holier than thou and makes the rest of us mad because the nurses spend so much time hunting your snooty butts down.

Ah.  I feel SO MUCH BETTER now.  That was our experience in the ER.  I hope these little observations are helpful the next time you have to take your kids.  I do need to brag on Avery–she was a little angel.  Her ibuprofen started to kick in after we got there, but she stayed right on my lap the whole time.  I couldn’t feel my legs by the time we got called back, but it was worth it to keep her away from the *ahem* patients.

Long story short, there was no meningitis, and they really don’t know what was going on with her.  It could be just a simple virus, or it could be H1N1.  Only time will really tell.  The ER doc was a little concerned about a UTI, but Avery wasn’t in the mood for peeing, so that theory went untested.  We went home instead.  At 12:30AM.  I think it’s highly unlikely though.  Her fever has continued through today.  It’s still high, and it’s making her miserable.  She took TWO naps today.  TWO.  She hasn’t taken a nap in approximately 537 days, but who’s counting?

This is Avery, sick.

She’s home from school until her fever is gone, and we’ve been instructed to call her pediatrician should anything change.  So for now, we’re shut-ins.  I might have mentioned here before that I do not like to stay at home.  It is not cool.  I like to go-go-go.  But that’s what we have to do for now.  Poor Zoe just wanted to leave the house today.  She didn’t care where we went, as long as we WENT.  “Grocery store?  Petsmart?  Target?”  That is what I heard all day from the little one.  But I think she’ll make it through.

Also?  Avery’s fever broke during bath time so right now, she’s in her bed chattering away to her stuffed animals.  Since she was feeling so bad, she couldn’t talk as much as she usually does.  Gotta make up for lost time, y’all.