Sara Plays House

Sometimes, the only playground a girl needs is a bed.

(Mind out of the gutter, you.  This is a family blog.)

Especially if it’s your mother’s bed that happens to be ridiculously high.  All the better for SLIDING.  I just KNEW that super deep mattress would pay for itself eventually.

This is what the girls did.  For an entire hour.  Would you believe we had NO injuries?  Truth.

It was really loud though.  Are you wondering how Zoe and her short legs got up there?  Avery helped her sister out by turning over a laundry basket on the other side of the bed.  She’s helpful like that.

Please do not adjust your screen.  Her bottom is really THAT big.  And no–it’s not her diaper.  That’s all natural, baby.

A good time was had by all.  Especially me, as I played on the Facebook while all this tomfoolery was going on.  Mommy Of The Year?  Oh yeah.  It’s in the bag.  Because really–it’s all about this–

I’ve already mentioned Avery and Zoe’s love of all things They Might Be Giants.  Yesterday they got to prove their love by dancing around like hooligans at their Very First Rock Show Ever.  To say TMBG rocked our faces off would be an epic understatement.

The show was at the Variety Playhouse in Little Five.  We passed the place I got my tongue pierced* way back when, and I even spotted the heavily pierced/tattooed super nice guy that did the job.  (Sorry, Mom)  After we paid out the nose for parking, we made our way into the venue with all the other alterna-parents.

We carved out a little spot and the dancing commenced.  Please note that the band had not taken the stage yet.  Yes, Avery and Zoe danced and danced and danced to the pre-show music.  But when the guys took the stage and started playing “The Alphabet of Nations”, both girls were transfixed.  OK, Avery was transfixed.  Zoe had very important running about to do.

Avery sang along to every song, even the songs she didn’t know.  It sounds like this, “Muh-muh-muh-mah-muh.” Precious. TMBG did a great job of entertaining both the parents AND the kids.  References to pop culture and such that were aimed at the kids, but super funny for the grown ups too.  Will you get that at a Wiggles show?  I THINK NOT.

We were hoping we would hear some non-kid music and we were rewarded with not just “Particle Man” but “Instanbul (Not Constantinople)”** as well.  No “Birdhouse In Your Soul” though.  Maybe next time we’ll catch their adults only show too.

They mostly played songs off their latest album, “Here Comes Science”.  We did not own this particular album.  Until yesterday.  And now we have a signed copy.  The hipster moms reading this blog just swooned, I can hear them. I will state here and now that I like this album better than the first kids album.  This song in particular will not leave my head:

After the encore, the band stuck around to hand out free bumper stickers to every.  single.  kid.  NICE.  The party van is so radical now.

This?  This was Zoe’s favorite part of the entire show.  When her Daddy showed up with this popcorn, my child started double fisting it into her tiny little mouth. (Why yes, she IS sitting on a nasty club floor with God only knows WHAT kind of unspeakable stains.  Purell THAT, people.) I tried to take the thing away from her and she gave me the stinkeye and screamed.  I’m sure that by the next time the guys come through town, she’ll be a WEE bit more interested.

So it was a great show.  Avery thought it was really rad that she got to see the ABC men do their thing.  And she got to dance a lot.  Win-win situation for her.  You know your kids had a good time when they both fall asleep on the way home.  We’re looking forward to their next Atlanta visit.  And I sincerely hope the guys got their Varsity hot dogs. They certainly earned them.

*My tongue is no longer pierced. But it was. Until my mom discovered it and made me throw it away. I was 18 and not in a position to say no. To this day, she counts this as her biggest disappointment when it comes to me. Yes, even bigger than when I dropped out of college briefly. We have moved past it though. I LOVE YOU MOM. And you were TOTALLY right.

**I’m sorry for all the “”"”"”"”. Are they necessary? Or no? Do tell.

I might have mentioned before that I have problematic skin.  It basically freaks out if I put anything too harsh on it.  I blame the girls–this was never an issue until they took up residency INSIDE MY BODY.  Anyhoo, last week I was out of my beloved Cetaphil cleanser.  I tried to pick some up at the grocery, but they only had this ginormous bottle.  I have a tiny shower caddy.  You can see my dilemma.  So I perused the aisle a little more and found something made by Johnson’s called Purpose.  Gentle, non-drying, doesn’t irritate eyes(should have been my first clue).  So I picked it up.

The first time I used it, my mind started drifting away.  Drifting away to sleepless nights, little bald heads, and nursing bras.  Puzzled(and slightly scared), I stopped and smelled the bottle a little more closely.  It smelled EXACTLY like something all new parents know and love.  Johnson’s Head-To-Toe baby wash.  Curious.

Being the little internet sleuth that I am, I used my superior Googling skills to track down the ingredient list.  I would have just looked at the little travel bottle we keep in Zoe’s overnight bag, but she was sleeping.  We don’t wake sleeping babies for Mommy’s crazy ideas in this house.  At least not often.

And whaddayaknow?  The ingredients are almost exactly the same!  And obviously the fragrance IS exactly the same.  Observe.

• Purpose–Water, PEG 80 Sorbitan Laurate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, PEG 150 Distearate, Sodium Lauroampho PG Acetate Phosphate, Fragrance, Quaternium 15, Tetrasodium EDTA
• Head-To-Toe Baby Wash–Water, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, PEG-80 Sorbitan Laurate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, PEG-150 Distearate, Tetrasodium EDTA, Sodium Chloride, Polyquaternium-10, Fragrance, Quaternium-15, Citric Acid.

Interesting, no?  What makes this even more interesting is that I paid close to $6 for 6 ounces of Purpose.  When I could have paid close to $3 for 9 ounces of baby wash.  That is some kind of huge savings but I’m too math-stupid to go figuring it out.  Yes, I DO feel cheated.  Cheated, I say!

All that being said, my skin is nice and soft.  But when I run out of this stuff, you better believe I’ll be hitting up Zoe’s stash.

***This is obviously not a sponsored review.  Because if it was, I would be the lamest reviewer ever.  Or the best?  Either way–Johnson’s had no part in this tomfoolery.  Well, except for the tomfoolery part.  Ugh, nevermind.***

Hi.  Remember me?  Don’t answer that.

It’s been a crazy few weeks, y’all.  I shall now recap for you, in somewhat chronological order.  In bullet points!  You are so lucky.

• Avery threw up.  Several times.  All over herself, me, her father, and the floor.  And a little on her bed too.  Did you know that strep can sometimes manifest with MASSIVE VOMITING?  Neither did I.  She was better in a few days.  (Actually this was right after the snow–Valentine’s Day to be exact.  I’m just a slacker blogger.  I know you NEED to know about all of our bodily fluids.  Sorry.  Did you know that Mike had his gall bladder removed on Valentine’s Day 2000?  It’s true.  V-Day brings stomach distress in this family.  I blame Hallmark.)
• Mike went to Code4Lib.  Code4Lib just happened to be in Asheville this year, so we dropped him off there and headed on over to Winston-Salem to see Nana and Pop.
• We arrived safely in Winston-Salem, with Zoe sniffling and coughing.  This was Sunday night.  By Tuesday morning, she was running a fever.  Mommy’s diagnosis?  Ear infection.
• Zoe and I spent THREE hours sitting in a waiting room at a doctor’s office.  You know, so a doctor could tell me that my daughter had an ear infection(Mommy is always right!  Except with strep.) and give me a prescription.  Three hours in a small room with sick people and an almost-two year old.  It was totally rad.  We finally got her antibiotics and prednisone and she was feeling better within a day.
• Mike was on his deathbed in Asheville with a terrible cold/sinus/something awful.  The best part of Mike being on his deathbed?  He was three hours away.  I kid, I kid.  (A little)  I do hate it that this is the one conference he loves to attend and he spent the vast majority of it feeling like poo.  He did have a couple good nights in which beer was involved, so don’t feel too bad for him.
• The girls and I had a really great time in Winston-Salem.  Zoe turned two while we were there, and I can tell you that being there with Nana and Pop spoiling her rotten was probably her best gift this year.  These girls did whatever they wanted, ate ice cream after every meal, and pretty much ran that house.  And I spent my time there laughing with my parents.  It’s what we do.  We laugh.
• Our visit with Nana and Pop was up, so we(By we, I totally mean *I*) packed up all our stuff and headed back to Asheville.  Zoe threw a fit in the hotel lobby because she saw her Daddy briefly, then he ran off to get his stuff.  Inconsolable, this child.  It was peachy!  “Why hello, library technology professionals!  This is miker’s child!  Isn’t she precious?  What?  I can’t hear you over this SCREAMING BANSHEE.”  And of course, as soon as Mike returned, she was in his arms and happy as a lark.
• We learned that Mike’s mom was back in the hospital on our way home to Atlanta.  We were expecting this–she needed a procedure done.   It was still a little disappointing.  We were hoping she would be in the nursing home when we went down there for Zoe’s birthday party so the girls could see her.  She’s now out of the hospital and doing well.
• That brings us to last Saturday.  We decided this year to have Zoe’s party in Warner Robins.  Luckily, my Granny and her husband are totally awesome and they agreed to let us create pure chaos in their home.  We really are so blessed.  My sister and her family made the trip, as well as aunts, uncles, cousins, oh my!  Zoe was surrounded by lots of people who loved her as she rang in her second year.  Happy Birthday, indeed!
• The day before Zoe’s birthday party, I had my first major cake fail.  Here are the contributing factors:  Less than 24 hours to make the cake from start to finish, Apolo Ohno racing in the Olympics (PRIORITIES!), and sheer exhaustion from traveling.  So it’s totally not MY fault.  Yeah.  Whatever the cause, my buttercream disintegrated and there was no saving it and no time to make it over again.  So for the first time in five years, I bought my daughter a Publix cake.  Sigh.  It was disappointing, but I’m pretty sure that Zoe didn’t mind too much.  She is so forgiving.  Next year, I’ll be making her THE MOST tricked-out cake ever to make up for this nonsense.

So that’s what we’ve been up to.  In a tiny, 700-word nutshell.  Life has now resumed its normal pace.  After two weeks, Avery is back in school.  Zoe is as sassy as ever.  Mike is still sick.  I just ordered him to go to bed at 10pm.  Unheard of in this house.  He’ll thank me in the morning.

What’s that?  You want pictures?  Why yes, I do have a couple.  There’s no pictures of Avery’s vomit.  You’re welcome.

What fever?

It snowed.  A little.

Do you want more Winston-Salem photos?  Here.

Ugh.

Meh.

Thank you, Zoe, for summing up how we all felt at the end of your birthday week.  Your amazing, wonderful, whirlwind birthday week.  Mommy can’t WAIT until next year.  Except for the cake part.  OMG THE PRESSURE.

P.S.  More birthday party photos here.

On the occasion of her Second Birthday.

Today you are two years old.  Really?  That’s it?  Because most days I forget your age and automatically assume that you’re at least three.  Maybe four.  You are still my sweet baby, but there is no denying the fact that you are placing your feet firmly in the realm of Big Girl Land.

When a person asks you how old you are, you quickly reply, “GREAT!”  Everything is GREAT in your little world, and for this I am glad.  You are always quick to smile, quick to giggle, quick to give out hugs.  You are also quick in your temper, but we’ll get back to that in a minute.

In the past year you have grown from a bald, crawling baby that didn’t talk much into a mullet-haired, running child that never stops talking.  In complete sentences, mind you.  Using phrases like, “Of course!” and “Absolutely!” quite often.  Mostly when your sister asks you to do something somewhat dangerous.  Another favorite phrase?  “That’s pretty cool.”  Your command of the English language is immense, thus causing your mother to forget your age.  Almost two year old babies should not say things like, “Can you get me that white dog from over there?  Please?”  Yet you do.  Daily.  Listening to the little conversations between you and your sister are a daily source of entertainment.

Speaking of Avery, the two of you are amazing.  Your personalities are so very different, but you love each other just the same.  You are both happiest when you’re in the company of each other.  My dream of raising sisters is complete.  I know that your relationship will ebb and flow through the years, but the ties that will bind you are being formed now.  It is humbling in so many ways to be a small part of that.

Should we talk about milestones?  I guess we should.  A little.  You know most of your colors.  You know some letters, but not all.  You’re getting there.  You love to count.  You are quick and sure footed and you love to run.  Running is WAY cooler than walking.  You can name lots of animals, lots of things, lots of places.  You can sing little songs, but you often tell me to stop singing.  You and your sister are alike in this way.  No one wants to let Mama sing!  I try not to let it hurt my precious, fragile feelings.

You are warm and giving in your affection, this much is true.  But you are also feisty.  I know that one day this “feistiness” will translate into assertiveness, and this particular personality trait will serve you well.  For now though?  It just makes your Mommy tired.  This is a typical exchange:

Me:  “Zoe, can you stop doing that please?”  (Usually standing on a table, chair, etc.)

You:  “I can’t.”

Me:  “Why?”

You:  “Just because.”

Me:  “No really, stop.  You’re going to hurt yourself.”

You:  “I don’t want to!” <insert pouty lip here>

Sometimes when you are reprimanded, you’ll lash out by trying to slap the offending party.  This is something I never had to deal with with your sister, so I’m making things up as I go.  Whereas she was (and still is) terribly afraid of the dread TIME OUT, you think it’s funny.  We’re still trying to figure out the best way to discipline you.  Here’s an example of what happens when you’re told “No”.

The person who can make you the maddest is (and probably always will be) the sister you love so much.  You HATE it when she takes something away from you.  The funny thing is that all she has to do is ask you for whatever it is she wants, and you will give it up freely.  The problem is trying to get her crazy self to ask instead of take.  We’re working on it.

You are still madly in love with your father.  You can go from kicking and screaming in my arms to cuddling and positively cooing when he takes over.  He is your version of baby Prozac.  In his arms you are instantly calmed, instantly at peace.  I still haven’t figured out how he does it, but I bet it has to do with the fact that he’s not here all day.  As soon as he walks in the door every night, you’re on top of him.  He finds it positively annoying.  (Where’s my sarcasm font?)

You love your extended family, with Aunt Kelly and Uncle Shannon being your favorites.  Not necessarily in that order.  Sorry, Aunt Kelly.  Uncle Shannon is just way cooler than you.  As a matter of fact, you’ve never really met anyone you didn’t like.  All it takes is a glance from a stranger and you are turning on the charm.  This, combined with that feistiness we talked about, will surely make you a force to be reckoned with when it comes to high school.  And boys.  Lord help me.  Thankfully you will have your levelheaded, mellow sister to help guide you and (hopefully) keep your little butt out of trouble.

All in all, I cannot complain one bit.  You definitely have an attitude, but it is so nicely balanced by your complete and utter sweetness.  Every weekday morning, you lay in the bed with me after you get out of your crib.  You suck your thumb and play with my messy hair.  You look into my eyes with those insanely blue peepers and I feel that I might surely die right there from the intensity of it all.  Then you look at me and say, “Mommy get your glasses!  I can have a waffle for breakfast?”  So I stand up, and you stand up, then you jump into my arms and we begin our day.  I honestly can’t imagine any better way to start a day.

You are our little blonde firecracker.  You have made this family complete in so many amazing ways.  I am blessed to be your mother, and I think I can speak for your Daddy and say that he feels the same.  I will not say you are perfect, none of us are.  But I will say that there is not one little thing I would ever change about you.

Zoe, you are two today.  And you are still and always my baby.  Even if I tend to forget that most days.

But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day

Is bonny and blithe and good and gay